How to work effectively and build healthy relationships with the person you call your boss!
There are countless stories about bad bosses. In fact, there are daily rumblings all over social media regarding scorned employees and how bad bosses need to straighten up and act right. It’s so frequent that you would think bad bosses would get the hint and work on their leadership skills.
Sometimes it may almost feel like there is a “bad boss factory” manufacturing these tyrants by the millions. Where do bad bosses come from? What are the characteristics of bad bosses? What if my boss sucks at being a boss? How can I effectively cope with them?
Like a vampire, a bad boss can suck the life blood from you. The frustration of working for a bad boss can be surreal, frustrating, suffocating, super stressful and debilitating to your health. At times you may feel like you’re trapped in a horror show where everything creepy is in slow motion and never ending with no escape in sight.
All employees finding themselves in the servitude of a bad boss handle these circumstances differently. We may bury our heads in the sand and hide, or avoid the boss at all costs. We might even try turning the tables and being bad back to them.
Either way, we can all agree that working with a bad boss takes a nasty toll, especially when you devote most of your life to work. Is a healthy boss relationship too much to ask for?
Behind this shroud of doom and gloom there is great news! There are great bosses out there, and there’s hope for all bad bosses to become great too. And rest assured that there’s hope for those who find themselves working for the bad boss of whom nightmares are made.
You may have heard terms like managing your boss, managing your manager or managing up. Regardless of what you call it, you will find that coping and working effectively with a bad boss is mostly in your court, and it’s all about managing relationships effectively.
Where do Bad Bosses Come From?
Similar to the question kids ask, “Where do babies come from?” Employees ask, “Where do bad bosses come from?” Well, generally bad bosses are created by other bad bosses or unhealthy cultures. It’s more of a nurture thing.
Bad bosses imitate the bad habits and actions of other bosses, much like a child watches a parent or person of influence and copies their bad behaviors. It’s not necessarily true that all bad bosses are evil overlords who eat their young and hunt for the next person to terminate. Bad bosses mostly exist because they don’t know or don’t think what they do is unhealthy or wrong.
Many bad bosses are also created and driven by the “bottom line profits only” type cultures. Great results in and of themselves are, well great. However, when those same results act as the only grade on a bosses report card it will drive their behavior. Many times their pay is based solely on these same financial results regardless of human collateral damage.
If a boss can drive employees to perform and achieve great financial results and be rewarded with a bonus then how they lead or manage is not a people thing, it’s solely a money thing where employees are seen and used as a means to achieving a profitable end. So in this case, the bad boss may not be as broken as the system that rewards him or her.
What are the characteristics of bad bosses?
Okay, think of the best boss you know. Now think of your favorite manager or coach. Now, visualize the opposite. There are many attributes to bad bosses and any one of them can be annoyingly toxic.
Characteristics include: unethical behavior, lack of respect, non-trusting, plays favorites, micro-manager, values results not people, not a team player, displays a do as I say, not as I do attitude, protects the management establishment, is not transparent, values only his or her opinion over others…are these ringing any bells?
Knowing these characteristics can help you identify a bad boss, so you can effectively demonstrate great leadership and effectively manage the bad boss in healthy ways.
How to be a Leader to a Bad Boss:
- Anticipate the boss’s needs and be a problem solver.
A great problem solver is one who anticipates the needs of their manager or department. Instead of creating drama or crisis, work to bring solutions to the table as a team player who can envision hurdles and barriers. Here’s a useful rule: never bring a problem to your boss without an offered solution. Great leaders are great visionaries and problem solvers.
- Remain calm in the sight of craziness. Be emotionally intelligent.
Keep a lid on your emotions. Bad bosses can extract the worst out of people, so try not to meet angst with emotion. Great leaders keep their cool. Staying calm gives you the added bonus of being able to think clearly. If you find your anger rising, take a couple deep breaths and choose to not lose your cool.
- Take ownership and accountability when applicable
If failure is the great teacher, then ownership is what its great teaching is founded upon. Own what you can, never cast blame and never make excuses. If only 20% of the failure is yours, then own 100% of your 20%. If you are asked to do something you don’t have a lot of skill in, be willing to attempt it. Never say, “That’s not my job,” because it very well may be. In NFL football, there is no such thing as a designated fumble jumper. If the problem “hits the ground,” jump on it and take it on.
- Set realistic expectations
Remember your boss may not always expect you to be the “everything” person for the department or team. Convey to your boss that you can handle things and let him or her know if you can’t. Stay true to yourself, and set some expectations around what is important to you too. Let them know, firmly and respectfully, what you can do and what you will do.
- Always point out your boss’s positives
This might sound tough, but it’s as easy as not joining in the “water cooler discussion” regarding about how much your boss sucks. If you speak poorly of others, it can only be presumed you will talk bad behind the backs of others as well. Let team members see that you are a positive force. Think, speak and act with positivity – it’s contagious and it’s a huge trust builder.
You never really manage people: you lead and influence them. Managing is process-related, while leading and influencing others is a people thing. You might have strengths in leading and influencing while your boss has no clue how to build great relationships.
Get it out of your head that you need to drive out and banish the bad boss from your environment for your life to greatly improve. You may only need to adhere to these five leader suggestions to build a happier work life and inevitably a healthier relationship with your boss. Show your best self, because it’s the only thing you have control over.